Every day I have to wake up early, usually for school, I use the radio as my alarm. I give myself about 30 minutes to wake up listening to a program, sometimes WAMU, or lately, a local sports station. Oftentimes this process allows me to get up nice and slowly. But lately, as now I'm listening to commercial radio, I have to listen to commercials. Most people would say it's not the end of the world, and normally I would too. But sometimes, for about a minute, it feels like my life is coming to an end. There is some non-profit organization called "Kars 4 Kids", which does something with old cars to somehow benefit kids. Anyway, they have a jingle, an infamous jingle. It's been on making people deaf for a few years now, and it frequently brings about a rude beginning to my day. My prospects for a good day take a huge hit once I listen to the Kars 4 Kids jingle. I'm now starting to just shut off my radio.
Here's a link to the jingle. Note: If you want to leave this post with your ears intact, I'd recommend not clicking this hyperlink.
Of course, I know you did click on it so now I will explain to you the problems I have with the jingle and the organization as a whole (although everything I know about it comes from the commercial). While I might have made it seem more out of tune than it actually is, when the voices of the kid and the older guy are still ringing in your ears next month, you'll wish you had never clicked the link. This image kind of sums up my reaction, only, I can't drive my bed of a cliff. Sorry I have to link to the Blog because the image is too big.
So the commercial tells me to dial 1-877-Kars-4-Kids. First, they don't even specify if one should dial the number "4" or the preposition "for". Second, I'm pretty sure telephone numbers are supposed to be only 10 digits in the United States. They've got their consumers dialing 12 plus that additional "1".
More importantly though, what do they mean by "Kars 4 Kids"? Because it seems like they want me to donate my old car to let a six-year-old drive. There's a couple problems with that. First of all, six-year-olds can't see over the steering wheel. And secondly, it's nearly impossible for somebody not to drive off a cliff after hearing the jingle. Presumably the car that they were supposed to donate is now deep in a valley.
So if they don't mean for me to give up my car for a kid to drive, then there is only one other possibility. This has to be some kind of orphanage where they sell kids for cars. They don't specify how many cars for a kid on their website, but I'm sure I could find out easily with one simple dial of "1-877-Kar-S4Ki".
I have big ambitions for my rival business, which has a very similar jingle. "1-8-7-7 Beer for Kids. K-E-E-R, Beer for kids. 1-8-7-7 Beer for kids. Donate Bud Light today!" Admit it, you sang to this.
I found a confirmation that indeed Kars4Kids does not sell kids for cars. Therefore they must sell the cars for the kids to use for recreational use. Here's proof.
Here's a parody of the jingle. I feel that if I were to waste my mind finding new lyrics to the jingle, I'll bet I could come up with 50 in an hour.
